MoaF's weekly roundup

V is back!! I do hope that if you hadn't already gone down to the bookies re predictions, you will, sharpish!!

Theo Walcott (bless his cotton socks) scored a sensational first goal for the Gunners, but the agent provocateur aka John Obi Mikel saw that little Theo's best game in a Gunners shirt was overshadowed. This is a heartfelt appeal to Kanu, speak to your countryman and tell him that he's in danger of not fulfilling the potential he so clearly demonstrated at the FIFA under 20 championships in 2005, along with a certain Lionel Messi. Is it any wonder that Emmanuel Adebayor was incensed after what was clearly a case of mistaken identity - how the linesman could confuse Adebayor with Emmanuel Eboue is beyond me, given their VERY different hairstyles. And the FA want to charge him for his reaction to their injust action - go figure!!

Lewis Hamilton is clearly a guy in a hurry so how about him to pip Fernando Alonso to the F1 championship in his first season in F1

Predictions for this week:

• the Spanish Matador to defeat the Swiss Maestro in Dubai (scratch this after Nadal's defeat yesterday)
  
• Jason Gardner to win his 4th European Indoor 60m title

Doesn't Helen Mirren exude class? Her acceptance speech epitomised what she's all about. Hats off to Forest Whitaker too and his acceptance speech was a reminder to us all that dreams can come true if one learns how to fail successfully.

Irreligious and proud to be

Imagine no religion,
it's easy if you try.
Nothing to live or die for,
above us only sky.
Imagine all the peoples,
living life in peace.

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you will join us
and the world will live as one.

These are the lyrics to John Lennon's seminal song, Imagine, and the words are as relevant today as they were back then, maybe even more so.

The Sikhs felt that Indira Gandhi, the original Iron Lady, had insulted Sikhism by ordering the Indian police to storm their holiest shrine in Amritsar - she died in a hail of bullets fired by two Sikh bodyguards on 31st October 1984. Mahatma Gandhi (no relation to the former) was assassinated by a Hindu fundamentalist, on 30 January 1948, opposed to his idea of granting the sizeable minority Muslim population the same rights as the majority Hindu population. The bombings of the US embassies in Nairobi and Dar-es-salaam on 7th August 1998, September 11th 2001 and the monumental folly that is the invasion of Iraq were faith based initiatives. Ariel Sharon, with a posse of riot police, provoked the 2nd intifada in September 2000, by stomping around Temple Mount, the 3rd most important Islamic site after Mecca and Medina. In the name of Christianity, the slaves taken from Africa to the Americas and the West Indies were whipped to within an inch of their lives if they failed to accept their massa given name. Acceptance, meant repeating the name after the massa and once that particular resistance had been broken, the real brainwashing began. From the Crusades in the Middle Ages to the ongoing civil war (an oxymoron if ever there was one) in Iraq, religion has been at the heart of virtually every major conflict.

This is an excerpt from an article that appeared in the New Statesman,

".....No one is a Christian or Muslim at birth; people are made so by the community they are born into, or which they later join. They can choose not to be Christian or Muslim, and can convert to another faith or none. But they cannot choose to be other than ethnically white or black. Ultimately, membership of a religious group is a voluntary matter - even if the coercive effects of brainwashing in childhood and social pressure to conform can make opting out difficult. This puts all religions on the same footing as political parties and other voluntary organisations: they are self-selected interest groups, defined by belief, aim and personal conviction......"

Gone too soon - shoulda, woulda, coulda

I did wonder how you were doing at university,

I meant to ask MK how you were settling in,

but like most things, I kept putting it off,

so it was a HUGE shock to learn that you were no more.

Over 7 years have gone by since your untimely demise,

I often look at your picture and ask myself why.

But what your passing has taught me is to dispense with procrastination,

appreciate one's friends and don't hesistate to show them affection.

To fulfil my not inconsiderable potential, is the right thing to do,

as it would be a fitting tribute to the person that is you.

You were so full of joie de vivre, I still can't quite believe you're gone,

and what's even more incredulous is that you never got to turn 21.

Someone told me the reason you left so soon is because you were too good for this world - I agree.

When I turned 30 (it was a while ago!!)

Today I'm 30 so I thought that I might do a broadcast,
but instead opted for a multicast,
which will sometimes tend to unicast
and this reference to my metier will be the last.

If you're wondering why you received this message,
it's your importance to me that I'm trying to acknowledge.
You've either inspired me or
made me strive to be the best that I can be.
Or perhaps it was lifting me up when I was down
or when I was little, carrying me high and twirling me around
or while pondering how to end a relationship
you digressed and came up with practical furniture rearranging tips

As I sit in my car, it's raining outside,
but the elements aside, it's been an exhilarating ride.
So thanks for the good times, for being there and the memories
consider yourself to be evergreen trees.

If you think I've been verbose, well heh,
it is after all, MY BIRTHDAY!!

Deconstructing Emimem

So tell me, do tell me what all the fuss is about
Yet another rapper spouting homophobic & misogynist words from his mouth
He's certainly not the first so why all the furore?
Is the fact that he's white and not black significant in some way?

His lyrics are full of profanities
which can obscure the underlying message he's trying to achieve,
and yet in the case of the quite exceptional Stan
the gratuity of the profanities is somewhat toned down.

So where will his inspiration come from when his anger eventually abates,
when he's patched things up with his mum, dad & Kim, and when he can't find anyone else to hate
As one grows older, the excesses of youth are toned down,
he's only got to look at Dr. Dre who's considerably mellowed out.

He's layed into Will Smith, criticising his music as being too happy
But who's the one dimensional character here, Big Will or Mr. Snappy?
A mon avis, Mr. Smith's the more versatile of the two,
which other rapper peppers his lyrics with words like serendipity & by so doing educates you?
But I'll leave the last words to the guy formerly known as the Fresh Prince,
who on hearing of Emimem's diss said, "lets talk in 5 years."

I wrote this in 2000 - somewhat prescient don't you think?!

Would you still be around?

I still have the photo and the letter you sent me and I often wonder if you'ld still be around if I had responded. It's funny because I didn't feel we were that close and yet you chose me. I often wonder if I should tell your family, especially your brother, but my fear always stops me. Admittedly it was a very long time ago and I'm so far removed from the person I was back then, but I am haunted by my inaction.

Your brother is doing really well, he has 2 very beautiful children and he has had a positive impact on the lives of countless of others.

I hope that when we meet again, I'll be able to tell you how sorry I am for letting you down.

What is Success?

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A child's perspective

2001 was when I realised that to an employer, an employee is nothing but a pawn on a chess board and extremely expendable. It was a very rude awakening for me and I spent the second half of the year going through the motions. The employer paid lip service to the slogan "Abcde is an equal opportunity employer" - that was so not true! When it finally twigged that fighting for civil rights wasn't part of my job description, I "opted" for voluntary redundancy. I used the redundancy package to fund my MSc so some good came out of it, but because I saw myself seeing I out my career with them it took me a bloody long time to get over it.

Redemption came in the form of a 7 month old baby and I wrote the following for her,

Who would have thought that spending 2 weeks in your company could have such an impact,
but I'm still basking in the after glow and it's 3 months since I've been back.
I'm rejuvenated and as I told your mother, you've given me a second wind,
I'm tapping into my not inconsiderable potential and thinking ambitiously about things.

I've learnt a lot from you and I've quite take to the no sense of permanence concept,
but I definitely feel there's a lot more to you, like superior intellect.
I've captured your uplifting smile on film and it's as if I've bottled the sun rays,
I can look at you beaming at me morning, noon & night and you ALWAYS brighten my day.

So if at ANY time in the future you need me to return the compliment,
please don't hesistate to look me up, I can guarantee that your time will be well spent.
In the meantime, please try and stay as lovely as you are,
I know it will be a tall order as you graduate from baby to toddler

You're 6 in May - I hope to be there.

BTW, apologies for eating into the quality time you were enjoying with your mother yesterday, but she is after all, my godmother - I promise not to call her too often.

Africa's shape

While in my second year at high school, a geography teacher asked me to define Africa's shape. Expecting to hear the bog standard text book answer, she was rather nonplussed when I replied, "it's the shape of a gun". Her response to my response made it extremely clear what she thought of my answer.

To me, the fact that Africa looks like gun pointing downwards (the bullet would emerge from South Africa, the trigger is shared by Nigeria and Cameroon and the hammer is Somalia), is as obvious as Italy being the shape of a boot. But while Italy is renowned for its fashion footwear, Africa is renowned for being a place to dump guns. The continent is awash with arms, and yet apart from South Africa, no other African country manufactures guns. In places like the Democratic Republic of Congo, Liberia, Sierra Leone and Uganda, these guns find their way into the hands of children who are easily manipulated by power hungry adults. You can teach a kid anything, killing is no exception and once they've got the hang of it, they acquire a taste for it (with the help of narcotics) and become pretty ruthless killing machines. If a child is instructed by an adult whom the child trusts, to do something because of the child's inherent nature to please, they comply. So you find kids who've racked up the kind of body counts you see in your typical Hollywood blockbuster and heaven help us when these kids survive their childhoods to become adults. Is it any wonder that Africa is plagued by conflict? But who really gives a DAMN? What's the value of an African life - apparently not very much!! Witness the intransigence over Darfur and the conflict in Northern Uganda that has been going on for 30+ years

To Mrs K, I believe it's time you ate a massive slice of humble pie.

1986

I tend to recall years gone by in terms of sporting highlights. For example, in 1986 we had the World Cup in Mexico and Mike Tyson becoming the youngest heavyweight champion.

In footballing terms, 1986, from my perspective, was a vintage year - first off, Liverpool won the league title and then secured a come from behind victory to see off Liverpool's other team in the FA Cup final at Wembley , Ian Rush scoring twice. But the creme de la creme was the World Cup in Mexico when a global audience bore witness to the mercurial, incomparable genius that is Diego Armando Maradona. As I mentioned before, I used to read A LOT and while it wasn't until 1986 that I saw him play on tv - the articles I read about him left an indelible impression on me.

In Italy vs Argentina match, the Italians successfully failed to kick Maradona off the park then up next was England vs Argentina. Now I must admit that when I watched the first goal, I thought that by virtue of a prodigious leap, Maradona had used his head to score the goal - the referee was with me on this. England like to harp on about that first goal, as if it would have changed anything - you can't change destiny! I think they do it to deflect attention from the second goal where Maradona slalomed his way through the entire English midfield and defence to score THAT goal - GAME OVER!! John Barnes came on as a substitute and supplied the cross that gave England a consolation goal. Meanwhile, Brazil vs France served up one of the best games in World Cup history. I gleefully remember Zico & Socrates prematurely celebrating the award of a penalty after Zico had been fouled in the box - justice was done when the penalty was saved. The triumvirate of Alain Giresse, Michel Platini and Jean Tigana held court and France saw off Brazil. Gary Lineker should be thankful that Maradona didn't steal his thunder by scoring in the final otherwise the former would have had to share his Golden Shoe with the latter. Personally, I think Maradona was more pleased with his Golden Ball award, the equivalent of an MVP.

On the day of the World Cup final, the school gymnasium was packed with Argentine and German supporters. As the camera moves along the Argentine line-up, the watching viewer experiences a sensation of freefall as it drops considerably to bring number 10 into view. The match begins, and Brown puts Argentina ahead. Valdano adds a second, but the Germans respond with goals from Rummenigge and Voller. 7 minutes from time and Argentina are on the counter attack. Maradona releases Burruchaga, who times his run to perfection, to score the winning goal. I gained enormous satisfaction from Argentina's World Cup Victory, after all, I had predicted it 2 years earlier.

Maradona was the architect Argentina's 1986 World Cup Victory and 4 years later, he would get them to the final of a World Cup once more - he was as indispensable to Argentina as he was to Napoli (he steered them to the Scudetto in 1987 and 1990). Without Maradona, Argentina would not have won the World Cup in 1986 and Napoli would not have won their Scudettos. Maradona inspired his team mates to raise their game to his level for the duration required to complete the move he had orchestrated. This is why for me, Maradona is the greatest. I would argue that even without Pele, Brazil would still have won the World Cup in 1970 because he was the brightest star in a team full of stars such as Carlos Alberto, Jairzinho and Rivelino (think icing on top of a cake). In contrast, Argentina's 1986 World Cup winning team had Jorge Valdano, who went on to have a successful career at Real Madrid, but Maradona had a lot less gems to work with, which makes his achievements all the more impressive. At Italia '90, Brazil vs Argentina was a surprising second round encounter. The Brazilians dominated possession for most of the 90 minutes, but failed to score. And then, in a split second Maradona did his thing to release Claudio Caniggia who converted his chance with aplomb and Brazil were OUT!!

Diego Armando Maradona, I SALUTE YOU - thankyou for some truly unforgettable memories.

Predictions

My sports knowledge allows me to make uncannily accurate predictions and now I have a platform to broadcast to the entire universe - extra terrestials, can you hear me?! (don't worry folks, it's just the early onset of megalomania). They say if you've got talent, you should put it to work so here are some predictions for you:

French Open champion for 2007 - the Spanish Matador aka Rafael Nadal (what a lovely bum!) to deny the Swiss Maestro aka Roger Federer (he plays tennis the way Mozart played the piano - like I was there) his much coveted Grand Slam
Wimbledon champion for 2007 - Venus Ebony Starr Williams aka V. In 2005, Serena won the Australian Open and Venus won Wimbledon (her mental fortitude was of herculean proportions) As history repeats itself, V will win Wimbledon this year.
US Open champion for 2007 - Andy Murray - I believe his temperament is well suited to Flushing Meadows and the kid has got game

To give you some indication of the kind of talent I'm talking about, in 1984, I predicted that Argentina would win the World Cup and France would be runner up. Is that scoffing I hear?! Well at least one of my readers can corroborate this. Alas, it was at a time when online betting was still the figment of someone's imagination and anyway, I wasn't old enough to go down to the bookies and place a bet. This time round though, I intend to put my money where my mouth is and place some bets - are you with me?!

Lots of success followed by a lot of relative failure

So just who is England's most successful football club? For those readers in their twenties, the answer might surprise you because contrary to widely perceived opinion it's not the Red Devils (as a Liverpool supporter, it's not proper for their name to feature on the page - like oil and water, we don't mix) despite their monopoly on success during the 90s. Another apocryphal perception is that Michael Jordan is the NBAs top scorer. His Airness may be the best ever player in the NBA, but the distinction of NBA top scorer goes to........(drum roll please), Kareem Abdul Jabar. Infact, Michael Jordan's is only third in the NBA scoring charts. Second place goes to Karl "the Mailman" Malone (what can I say, I LOVE and KNOW my sports!). Anyway, as I was saying, the club that has won 18 league titles, 5 European Cups, 7 FA cups 7 league cups and 3 UEFA cups is........(another drum roll) Liverpool FC. (eat your heart out Chelski!!)

I have supported Liverpool for 27 years and finally made my pilgrimage to Anfield in 2002 - it was akin to a religious experience (well as I've never had one of those, I'm speculating here) as we walked around the museum that houses Liverpool's not inconsiderable trophy haul. We toured the dressing rooms and touched the Liverpool shield that all Liverpool players touch before they walk out on to the pitch. The pitch is immaculate, worthy of a club with such an illustrious pedigree - we weren't allowed on it, so we sat in the home dugout and lost ourselves in the moment.

The greatest irony is that Liverpool's success was borne out of their failure to ground share with Liverpool's other team (again, for obvious reasons, that name can't appear on this page).


****STOP THE PRESS - Barca are on the ropes, having taken a series of punishing body shots, the knockout punch will duly be delivered at Anfield****
****You read it here first, Liverpool to end Barca's reign as European Champions****

Failing successfully vs successfully failing

For goalkeepers (goaltenders for the people across the pond), this paradigm is particular true because by failing to keep the ball/puck out of the net the goalkeeper has failed successfully. Conversely, a high jumper who is the last man standing in the competition will successfully fail - he'll knock down the bar, but he has won the competition.

The goalkeeping illustration above is also an example of how one man's success (the striker) can be another man's failure (the goalkeeper). In the sporting arena, this is quite commonplace - Kobe successfully makes a basket because LeBron failed to stop him - mind you, Kobe does take a lot of stopping. Similarly, Serena successfully swatted Sharapova aside because Sharapova failed to stop the swatting (not that Sharapova could really do anything about it because Serena was in the zone). At the end of the match the opposing players shake hands and may even exchange a few laughs if its a mutual admiration society.

In the real world succeeding as a direct result of someone else failing (aka shafting) is commonplace too, but there are no post match handshakes.

Failure is to be avoided at all costs

Like anything, learning how to fail is best done at an early age. That way, you get used to it and learn that it's part and parcel of life.

I avoided failure like the plague and studiously avoided situations in which I was likely to fail. I remember racing against my brother and 2 family friends. I was a sprinter back in the day so that meant I had a fast start, but endurance was not one of my strong suits. One by one, they overtook me and once I had been relegated to last, I metaphorically raised the white flag and stopped running.

Recently, I watched a documentary on Child Geniuses and I found it particularly disturbing that one family celebrated their child's passing of an exam by buying them a roomful of presents (I kid you not!) - the children's birthdays were not as celebrated. I found the mother particularly creepy because she seemed to define her children by how well they excelled academically and she had already pre-ordained their careers. Her children are under pressure not just to pass their exams, but to ace them. Those children will grow up associating academic prowess with parental approval (of course when you reach a certain age, you no longer care about such things) - so much for unconditional love. To those children, and countless others like them, failure is not an option.

Does education matter?

"We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classrooms
Teacher, leave us kids alone
Hey! Teacher!! Leave us kids alone!!
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall."

are the lyrics to Pink Floyd's seminal song "Another Brick In The Wall". It struck a chord with me and I would imagine myself singing it defiantly - I never did, I was too much of a model pupil, with rather angelic looks that meant I could and did, get away with murder.

Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, is a college dropout, Michael Dell is too. Richard Branson left school at the age of 16 and yet all three of the aforementioned men are multi-billionaires. So, is education overrated? In this day and age of fast food celebrity, where it's possible to become a millionaire on the back of notoriety a la Big Brother's Jade, I would have to say yes.

I have 2 degrees, BSc and MSc, and at one time or another I could trail my name with 4 sets of TLAs* and FLAs**. I have spent 17 years of my life in full time education, I'm under 40. My Masters degree and my certifications were self funded. I have invested a lot of time and money in pursuing an information security career and yet the ROI has been pretty poor. After completing my Masters in 2002 and gaining a prestigious industry certification along the way, I couldn't find an information security role, despite the fact that I had pre college industry experience. To pay my mortgage, I went to work in the call centre of a wine club, where I was working alongside kids who were using the job to earn spending money for the obligatory round the world trip after finishing school.

Despite my education, qualifications and industry experience, I lived from pay cheque to pay cheque. Could I have handled my money better? Absolutely. I really enjoyed my MSc course - it was everything my BSc wasn't; entertaining, educational and very relevant - I had completed a journey that begun 16 years prior when a friend gave me a scifi book for my birthday. What's more, because of its international renown, I can holiday on the most popular continents and not have to worry about accomodation. The MSc is one of the reasons I ended up working in the iconic building on the right. However, it's been almost 5 years since I finished the course and yet I'm still paying off the CDL I took out to do the course.



TLAs* - three letter acronyms
FLAs** - four letter acronyms

Say what?!

Newton's 3rd law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction* so I am postulating that learning how to fail is as important as learning how to succeed.

I was brought up to believe that failure was not an option and yet failing in life is as inevitable as death and taxes. Babies fall down countless times while they are learning how to walk and yet they just reach out for the nearest item that can support them, haul themselves up and try again. They don't know about failure, they just get on with it.

Apparently, I could read at a very early age (my mother says 2) and was a voracious reader as a child. I read Alex Haley's Roots when I was 7. I was in the top 10 in the country for the nationwide end of primary school exams, scoring 376 out of a possible 400. That got me into a prestigious high school (it was at the time) and I sat and passed 8 O levels, gaining 3 distinctions in Maths, English and French, and credits in Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Geography and History - I was disappointed that my love of history was not reflected in the marks I attained. A book I read when I was 16 made me want to pursue a career in computing so I opted to do A levels in Maths, Physics and Chemistry. Despite disasters in my A level Chemistry and Physics practicals, I gained the grades required to do a BSc in Electrical and Electronic Enineering. What I really wanted to do was degree in Computer Engineering, but that wasn't an option at the time I went to university so I opted for what I considered to be the closest thing - I slept walked my way to a 2:2. I flunked out of my MSc in Computer Science, purely because I didn't have the patience to master the programming languages like COBOL and FORTRAN, but eventually got an MSc in Information Security along with various vendor and industry certifications.

My mother sacrificed a lot to ensure I got a good education so I made sure that I produced the goods when it mattered. She would equate working hard at school to succeeding in life - what a load of bollocks that turned out to be.

* ok, the actual law mentions force

The genesis

When I first saw the words, 'Being a failure isn't as easy as it looks', my initial thought was, aren't they something of an oxymoron? But then I realised, they ring true - just as it takes a hell of a lot to succeed, it does require considerable effort to fail too. The former is celebrated, the latter is as welcome as that other four letter word.

This blog is the musings of someone who has finally learnt to embrace failure.