Monday 14 July 2008

Inside the mind of Imperialist Robert

IR: My solitary turn on 27 June gave me an overwhelming mandate to implement my scorched earth policy for Zimbabwe for another 5 years

IR: My good friend Omar Bongo has been in power for over 40 years and I've only been Top Dog for 28

IR: To Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, Ian Seretse Khama, Barack Obama, Raila Odinga and Yar'Adua, Jacob Zuma, you can "go hang"

IR: To Madiba, you're about to turn 90 and I'm 84 with the vigour and vim of a person much younger so there!!

IR: If I can't rule Zimbabwe, then nobody else will

IR: To those Zimbabweans who did not vote for me, I take that as a personal rejection and since I have never gotten over the rejection I endured in my childhood, I will banish the memories of that rejection by abducting, beating up, displacing, maiming, raping, starving and killing my fellow Zimbabweans

IR: The Chinese and Russians have got my back so it really doesn't matter that I am no longer a Knight Commander of the Order of Bath

IR: I have no idea where the £47 million that the British government gave to finance land redistribution went, all I know is that I took care of my peeps.

IR: I feel tired, I feel sleepy, but there's SO much to be done zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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